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protomlad:

chelseawelseyknight:

agentrodgers:

voxnihilo:

agentrodgers:

childhood-antiquity:

a-sensible-pantsuit:

agentrodgers:

childhood-antiquity:

@agentrodgers didn’t like how I made my sandwich.

you put jelly on one side of the bread and peanut butter on the other. that’s an abomination and at least I know how to make a proper sandwich

How else would one make a pb&j? Like do you put them on the same slice of bread? I am so confused?

She should show us how to make one since she is just SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!

OKAY KIDS RYAN’S GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A PB&J SANDWICH

first you need your two slices of bread but as opposed to putting the peanut butter on one side, like some kind of animal, you’re going to put it on both

next you can slap your jelly of choice on and spread that shit it

now you can put the bread together and bag the sandwich for a meal later on

by making the sandwich like this, it stops the jelly from seeping through one side of the bread and making it all soggy when you eat it. I had to pack my lunch through the majority of school and that means having the sandwich sit in a bag for a solid 5 hours before I get to eat it and if you only put the jelly on one side, it’s going to bleed through the bread and be nasty but the peanut butter creates a buffer so it’s in prime condition

Dude black widow showed me how to make a sandwich

You’re welcome, citizen

oh my god

I want an Avengers AU that’s just about Sandwich making. 

rockluke:

stilesinatrenchcoat:

phoenixx23:

spookyflys:

thanl:

psyducked:

romancingthelookyloos:

romancingthelookyloos:

I think we should talk about puberty…

image

yo imma let you finish but

I had one of the best puberty transformations of all time

yes okay but

girls can do it too

Step back, peeps, and fasten your seat-belts.  Time to bring in a puberty professional.

BEFORE PUBERTY:

image

After puberty:

image

…. wait.  That’s not right.  Hold on.

Let’s fast-forward about five more years.

image

Ah, yes, there we go.  Right after I sold my soul to Satan. 

fuckin

photo IMG_0998_zps8237a196.jpg

PLOT

photo 168953_175287445844057_6570840_n-1_zps737126b9.jpgTWIST

photo 537080_221894307976482_994889695_n_zps3943ffdd.jpg

Naw son you can’t be hot in two genders you fucking cheated

this is my favorite post because its just people bragging about how hot they are

If My Dog Could Talk

  • Dog:

    WAT DOING

  • Me:

    Nothing. I just stood up.

  • Dog:

    WHERE GO

  • Me:

    I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.

  • Dog:

    CAN I COME

  • Me:

    I mean sure but I'm literally just-

  • Dog:

    I COME TOO

  • Dog:

    WAT DOING

  • Me:

    I need to open this door.

  • Dog:

    I HALP

  • Me:

    No but you're in front of the door. Move please.

  • Dog:

    I HALP

  • Me:

    Sigh.

  • Dog:

    WHERE GOING

  • Me:

    I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.

  • Dog:

    CAN I COME

  • Me:

    Sure.

  • Dog:

    I SIT IN LAP

  • Me:

    No please don't you are-

  • Dog:

    I SIT IN LAP

  • Me:

    No there's no room and-

  • Dog:

    LAP

  • Me:

    No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.

  • Dog:

    RIGHT HERE

  • Me:

    That's literally on top of my leg.

  • Dog:

    IT'S PERFECT PET ME

  • Me:

    I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-

  • Dog:

    PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME

  • Me:

    I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-

  • Dog:

    PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME

  • Me:

    I AM

  • Dog:

    I SIT IN LAP

  • Dog:

    PET ME PET ME PET ME

  • Dog:

    HOLD SLOBBER TOY

  • Dog:

    SNEEZE IN UR FACE

  • Me:

    .......

theraginazian:

desmond-the-creppy-bear:

srsfunny:

Soft rocks…
http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

can you imagine though

you send your enemies a rather large amount of these in various sizes. you leave no return address or explanation. they open all the boxes to discover these wondrous pillows. they are reluctant to keep them but eventually they give in and integrate them into their home like the above pictures. after a few weeks or even months, theyve gotten accustomed to having them in their home and routinely relax in a large pile of the odd pillows. until one night you just take every single one back and replace them with actual rocks of the same dimensions so that when its time for them to relax and unwind from their day day fall into a pile of hard unmoving boulders. they break their spine and are paralyzed. you have won

What the fuck is wrong with you…

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